Modern WoT
by Channeling Wisdom
Summary: The title says it all, once again...R&R! UPDATED! Chap2: Attack of the Mutant Killer Granies of the Third Kind!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: Don't own them and never will so tut tut. Belongses to Robbie Jordanses! Too bad ^.^ +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Okay. This is just...a thing I wanted to do because it seemed kinda funny/cute. Yeah. You do NOT want to know what I come up with in my spare time. Really, you don't! This is just...a THING! R&R!!!!!! Okay, this time, I have chocolate brownies! Everyone seemed to enjoy my other cookies, so I just thought, "Let's be...creative!!!!!" ^.^  
  
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BEEPBEEP..............BEEPBEEP..............BEEPBEEP................BEEPBEEP ..................WHACK!!!!!!!!  
  
Lan rolled over and hit the alarm clock as hard as he could. At last, the bloody noise had stopped. He groaned as he remembered why the alarm clock was going off. He had to go to work!  
  
Lan turned back over to gaze at his wife. She lay motionless except for the slow rise and fall of her shoulders. Her black hair fell all around her face, her lips slightly parted, and she looked so peaceful. Lan wrapped his arms around her and gently kissed her cheek. She stirred and her eyes fluttered open.  
  
"Lan?" Nynaeve smiled. He kissed her forehead.  
  
"I'm sorry, love, I have to get ready for work. You can go back to sleep," He tenderly brushed some hair away from her face.  
  
"I should really get up anyways." Nynaeve yawned, and he let go of her. She got up, put on a yellow robe, and started into the kitchen to make him some breakfast. Lan followed, shrugging.  
  
Nynaeve got out the orange juice, frying pan, some pancake mix, and about the whole cupboard of measuring cups- teaspoons, tablespoons, cups, liters, and gallons. After all, you never know what you could need. She turned on the oven, a trick she had learned that miraculously did not use saidar or saidin, at least not that she knew of, set the frying pan on top, and got out a mixing bowl.  
  
Meanwhile, Lan made their bed, and put on his work suit. As an afterthought, he took his sword from the hook on the wall. After all, you never know what you could need.  
  
He stepped into the kitchens, and almost laughed at the sight of Nynaeve cooking. She was stirring the batter with Air while testing the frying pan. Then she swept up several blobs of batter with another flow of Air, and set them down. She didn't know what the spatula was for, though.  
  
"Lan? Is this how this thing goes?" Nynaeve put the spatula under the mixing bowl, and tried to spin it. It almost broke on the floor, but she saved it with another flow. Lan almost doubled up with laughter, but managed to keep a straight face.  
  
"You use it to flip the pancakes," He grinned at her sheepish expression.  
  
"Oh, I knew that," she flipped the two already on. When they were ready, she set them on a plate and studied the syrup bottle.  
  
"Lan! There aren't any instructions on this! How are you supposed to have a good, quality syrup company if they do not have instructions on their labels? I mean, the whole world is probably being cheated a lot of money on this, and if-" she stopped short as Lan uncapped the syrup, poured some on his pancakes, and grabbed a fork.  
  
"Oh," Nynaeve gave him his orange juice and paper.  
  
"Aren't you hungry, mashiara?" He thumbed through the Warders section of the paper.  
  
"No, I'll probably just have that...er...what is that seery stuff?"  
  
"Cereal?" Lan sipped his orange juice.  
  
"Yes, that. Oh, I almost forgot!" she tore out of the kitchen and into their bedroom. Lan shrugged and turned the page.  
  
In a few moments, Nynaeve was back, this time with a carefully painted red dot on her forehead. Lan grinned. She never forgot that. He wolfed down his pancakes, set his dishes on the counter, gave Nynaeve a big kiss, and went to brush his teeth. She sat down, looked around the room, and cautiously picked up the Warders section. On the front page there was an ad for swords.  
  
"Mashiara! I have to leave now!" Lan called. He hurried back to give her one last kiss, and went out into the garage. He took out his keys and warmed up his black Ferrari named Mandarb. Nynaeve called after him, "Don't forget to call before you leave tonight!"  
  
"I won't!" Mandarb revved up, Lan honked the horn and pulled out of the driveway. Nynaeve stared after, then hurried back to the kitchen to fix up the house.  
  
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I know. Some people (such as myself) scare me. I don't know why, but I had to do this. Next part (chapter- ARGH) is when Nynaeve goes to the store (D&W). Eheh. Well...if you're this far, you've R'd, now R!!! ^.^ 


	2. Attack of the Mutant Killer Granies of t...

Lan, Nynaeve, and EVERYONE else belong to RJ- EXCEPT my fun people. K? No touchie!! +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
How were the brownies? I put almonds in them! Now, this time I have Grandma's cookies! Those ROCK! Chocolate chip. R&R! Nynaeve goes to D&W!! (To anyone who doesn't know, that's a grocery store!)  
  
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Nynaeve hummed to herself as she washed the dishes with one flow of Water, and dried them with another flow of Air. Every so often, she'd drop one, but she used Fire to fuse them back together. So they didn't look like plates anymore- Lan always appreciated her creativity the most, anyways.  
  
When she was done, she hopped into her tan convertible named Gaidin, and backed down the driveway. In the process, she nearly ran over the three old ladies who always walked their poodle things at least five times a day.  
  
"WATCH it, young'un!!" a granny in a pink jumpsuit yelled.  
  
Nynaeve ignored her, and continued down the driveway. She froze in horror when a resounding isquish/i was heard.  
  
"NOOOOO!!!!!!! MY FRU-FRU!!!!!!!!" another granny shrieked, her face contorting into a mix of horror, panic, grief, and hate. "DIE, EVIL WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!! GRRRRRANNY...................POWWWWWWWWWWWWER!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Nynaeve's eyes widened as the other two grannies came on her like a storm. They jumped into the back seat, carrying their dogs' leashes as whips. They rained blows at her, giving Nynaeve no choice but to use the Power.  
  
At first, you saw a tan convertible backing out of the driveway, the driver being attacked by revenge-seeking grannies with attitude, the next moment, it was simply a tan convertible backing out of a driveway, a smoking crater on the pavement, and the back seat smoking a bit. Nynaeve smiled to herself and continued on.  
  
When she had reached the supermarket, she parked her car by a strange sign in the front with a "P" crossed out, and went inside. There were lines of strange wheeled vehicles on the wall. Nynaeve saw a little girl riding in one, and decided that they were to sit in. But how to move them? She hopped in a cart, and used a few flows of Air to push herself along.  
  
A man in a leather vest and yellow eyes asked her if she needed any help.  
  
"Perrin Aybara, you never told us you had a job!" Nynaeve frowned.  
  
"Oh, I know. This is just a part-time job. The rest of the time I'm helping out at a falcon-rehabitation clinic." Perrin grinned at Nynaeve's sickened face.  
  
"I do need help, Perrin. Where's the sheeproot?"  
  
"Uh...Nynaeve, they don't have that here." Perrin fingered his axe, his eyes glowing for a moment.  
  
"Oooookay, I'm okay I guess, thanks!" Nynaeve hurried, and swept off to the bread aisle. She gasped as she saw Juilian Sandar changing price tags, and turned around back into the next aisle.  
  
After gathering milk, eggs, butter, bread, cereal, meat, green beans, rice, corn, peaches, bananas, dill pickles, and three tons worth of Jones Green Apple Soda, Nynaeve Air-ed her cart into the checkout line. She gasped as she saw a tall man with red hair at the cash register, and a white-haired man with long mustaches bagging a short woman's groceries. The woman was wearing blue jeans, a blue shirt, and a headband with a blue stone.  
  
"RAND? THOM? MOIRAINE!!! ACK!!!!" Nynaeve shrieked.  
  
"Hello, Nynaeve. Nice to see you." Moiraine started off, "Guess what? I just got elected as the first female vice president! That's because I manipulated the other president, rigged the voting machines, and brainwashed a few people. What have iyou/i been doing in your spare time?"  
  
"Hey, Nynaeve! Nice to see you around," Rand grinned evilly, "Did you know Moiraine was so busy with her campaigning that she forgot about me? So I could do whatever I wanted for a while? Do you know what I did? I bet you don't! Tell me, yes or no? Okay, I'll tell you! I went and supercharged some evil grannies in your driveway. They looked a little crispy, and they were in this crater thing. Did you know there's a crater in your driveway? Anyways, I helped them out, and I trained them to use the One Power, so now they're much happier!"  
  
Nynaeve screamed, "WHAT?! YOU HELPED THEM???? NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Rand, Nynaeve, Moiraine, and Thom look out the window as a sudden crash is heard. There is now a gaping hole in the north wall of the supermarket, and fire is everywhere. Smoke billows into the store, and as it clears, three women in black leather jackets, black t-shirts, and black hats on disco- dance into the supermarket. They strike dramatic poses and whip off their hats to reveal......GRAY HAIR!!!  
  
They spot Nynaeve, who moans.  
  
"GGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PPPPPPPPPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"GRANNY POWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"GRANNY POWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" Nynaeve grabs a bottle of Jones Soda, downs it in two gulps, and throws it at one of the grannies. Instantly, their eyes glow red, and they begin to chant.  
  
"Granny.....power.......granny.......power.......granny.........power....... "  
  
"WHO ARE YOU??????" Rand screamed.  
  
"MOHEDGIEN!!!!" One of the grannies yelled, and her eyes glowed even more.  
  
"SIUAN SANCHE!!!!!!!!!!!" Another granny yelled.  
  
"BERELAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The last granny shrieked.  
  
"Oh. My. Good. Light." Thom collapsed on the floor.  
  
Suddenly, the mutant grannies of the Third Kind realized that it was Monday.  
  
"NOOO!!!!!!!! It's our day off! If we work on our day off, then we-" Berelain screamed. She was immediately silenced by a giant pink weasel that fell from the sky and squished her.  
  
Siuan was flattened by a green cow, who promptly ate Mohedgien. It belched out Mashadar, so the building had to be evacuated. Soon the firefighter Aiel arrived with the police Whitecloaks, and Rand and Nynaeve ran for the hills.  
  
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There's more, don't worry. I know. I had a stroke of brilliance. I have never writted anything more touching and beautiful as this. Heh. Review!!!!!!! ^_^ 


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